It’s amazing how something as sweet as perfume on a pillow can make me smile. It’s kind of a funny story. With my kids there are a lot of funny moments.
This past summer my fourteen year old daughter, my first-born received an invite to her best friend’s chalet. This wasn’t the first time she was going away, but she would be gone for 6 days. That was a first. She was so excited. I was nervous. She was all over the house laughing and giggling. My heart was racing.
Not only was my oldest going, but so was my son, my third born. I kept repeating to myself in my head ” My fears are not their fears. They are mine.” Letting go like this is out of my comfort zone, but I knew I couldn’t say no. My eyes watched two of the four of my children zip around the house in a frenzy to get ready.
” Don’t forget to pack bathing suits and towels. I say. ” By the way do you have any towels downstairs in your room? We are missing a few, I ask my daughter. ” No mom, no towels in my room.”
I helped my son pack, got their bags ready by the door. My daughter was in the bathroom looking through the cupboards. I know she packed everything. What could she possibly be looking for? I check in, to help hurry up the process, as my friend is on her way to pick them up. I walk into the bathroom.
” What are you looking for?”
” I’m looking for your perfume mom.” she said. I smile and look at her as though she is from Mars. ” Honey what on earth do you need perfume for? There are tons of bugs up north, you’ll be eaten alive!”
” No mommy, I want the perfume to spray my pillow so it smells like you when I sleep. I’m going to miss you.”
That is when you realize as a mom, that no matter how life forces our children to grow up, there is always a tiny part of them that makes them stay our babies.
Those tiny parts that we get to keep, give me comfort when I’m lost and my comfort zone is all over the place.
Then there are other moments, such as when I watch the car drive away, I have tears in my eyes. I walk back into the house, to my husband who gives me a hug. To my other two kids who want to go for a swim with me. I say yes of course, we’ll play, in a minute.
I walk downstairs to make sure my oldest has turned off the lights. Only to find a hamper full of towels. Thirteen towels! That little fart! She escaped just in time!
I feel the overwhelming need to raise my hands to the ceiling and shout as Sheldon did on Big Bang Theory when Will Wheaton bested him.
This is not Big Bang Theory. This is motherhood. And I love every moment of it.